What grieving made

Grieving hits in waves. I think I’m surfing and then I’m suddenly pulled under by your weight as if you’re drowning and there’s nothing I can do. Grieving pulls together a family but also tears us apart and how did you expect us to cope with that? Grieving makes me feel guilty and makes me

This one is for you

After six long months of restraints, assessments, sections, max observations, being restricted to a ward, losing my sister to suicide, wanting to die and wanting to hurt myself, I’m back home and a week into my discharge. This time it was different. As much as I was happy to be coming home, the thought of

It’s not goodbye, just goodnight ⭐️

Yesterday, four weeks and one day after my sister Natalie ended her life, we had the funeral. I can’t explain the anxiety and sadness it caused. But I know it really hit me when Natalie was outside our house and our transport came to take us to north thoresby chapel. Panic, fear, sadness, tears, anger,

How I miss you tonight. (Triggering)

Words can not explain how much I miss you tonight, Every single one of you who put up a fight, Christmas time is known for joy, for love, for happiness, But how can I can I fight when I have lost sight of the light. I try to hold on to the higher power but

Just because you’re gone, does not mean you are forgotten.

I have heard so many people talking and asking me about the favourite part of Christmas. And honestly? I don’t really like Christmas. It reminds me of people I have lost and so on but it also reminds me the people who I love and mean everything to me. I remember when I was young,

Living with BPD and coping with losing people

This week has been a roller coaster of emotions. Two amazing people in my life passed away. And despite losing people I love in the past few years, it doesn’t become any easier. One of them, I can not go into detail about on here but it’s a very emotional and sad story for me